Tag Archives: 1 SIGFRIDSSON
1 SIGFRIDSSON AS ONE (E-BOOK)
First book in English.
TRUTH
WRITING POETRY
(Reblogged, rewritten and now included in THE SOLSTICE WELL.)
A writer writing about writing. How very original of me. You can skip by this article…
I have been writing some kind of poetry for over twenty years now and I clearly remember the first words penned down that were found a little too good to throw away. After that initial shock I gathered bits here and there, and it felt natural for me to write. I had to. It was really all I had at that time.
Initially, it was mostly about my personal suffering, what I could remember bits of and get hold of at that time, with my empty hope attached to it. Little did I acknowledge how bad my life really had been and were to become… I still write a bit like that today. I guess that it would be seen as very egoistic to do that kind of self-indulgence if I didn’t, big hearted as I am, include everyone and everything within that aspect of myself. Right? Right. I was walking around thinking and planning poetry in the supposedly intellectual town of Uppsala, and later in the supposedly “arty and semi-intellectual” part of Stockholm, Södermalm, for a few years. I did write some manuscripts that took forever and three or four days to make. Later on that got burnt up in mysterious fires, set by myself. I planned on starting up a small book publishing company as I have always been more attracted to planning the “business side” more than the actual writing. I think that at some point in my life, around fourteen years of age, I found it to be smarter to let others produce the normal junk and me mostly working with their junk instead. Sadly, few people did have interest in making their junk for me to handle at first, so I had to go down the drain first… (Story of my life.)
I never had the common thinking that if I take part in anything that it would have any shared part of me. The “guilt by association”, or if good a “shared status”. That is a retarded thinking, in most cases. Of course, if I did produce something negative with intent to harm or hurt something that is positive then it would be despicable. I guess, or rather I know, that I more just liked to picture myself as a writer than actually being one. I guess most writers do, the writing is not something any good writer like to do… I do try to avoid telling people that I write a bit, not only as I have published so little, it is more about the questions that follow suite. Also, the notion that if you write you must be really smart. I have a problem with that as I’m really dumb.
I often hear that most poets are amateurs, seeing that they rarely can sell enough to be called professional writers. This is mostly from people that seldom can find anything of value other than what kind of money something can bring; in order to set food on their table. Otherwise it is just air. They might be right in a sense. Anyway, this degeneration in sales of poetry is nothing to wonder about at all. Poetry today is mostly crap that has nothing interesting to say to anyone. And, it has been that way for hundreds of years due to the lack of Knowledge, a lack of everything really. That poetry has gone even more downhill since the Second World War ended is hardly worth noticing; that is just my universal and valid opinion. All these personal scribbling’s about love and suffering, all these simple and not knowledgeable thoughts on society and life, and all that plain nonsense that is thrown around in general, it is offending to me. For those that use poetry as a dumpster, where they with great exaggeration express “feelings”, really should start to search for other playgrounds as it deeply harms poetry. These “poets” have given up on poetry as the vehicle for Truth. Now they are writing poetry for the sake of writing and posing with it as “poetry”. Am I better than these described hazards? It is a question of reference points. Most do not understand, or care, what I write, but they will.
Have the poets given up to be the leaders for their folk? Do they try to be the teachers or would that just be impossible in today’s sad state of it all? We the poets; these visionaries, these Truth-seekers, the highest thinkers, the hunters in the ultimate quest to bring beauty, real freedom and Knowledge back to this world. Is it all lost as a goal for most to at least try? Is this a fait accompli? I personally see very little of interest in verse and rhyme, it is more or less the same silly melodies again and again, and then again. Most of versed and rhymed poetry is to be read like songs for children even if it deals with death and suffering. With free verse we have another problem. It is mostly just prose in hiding. Foul and boring. Have you heard anyone complain that poetry is boring? I have heard myself say that in my mind so many times now that it’s not even funny.
Strangely enough, other forms of literature, that all at some point in history have been derived from poetry, have much more impact on society at the moment. These are trends of little significance, I might add. The form is slightly different, but the content is more or less just boring dumb junk in all literature. I remember twenty years ago when I sent my poetry manuscripts (Under a taken name, as I was not really content with my writing at all. Still kind of wished to be published though…) to publishers; that they actually told me to write some kind of detective novels, or at least novels instead. Never. I wouldn’t defile myself with low class writing like that. Ha! Never! I guess I share this with most people that write poetry. We are so proud. (Well… I did write a “novel” that took me over two years to write, and was never really completed or seen by anybody other than me. That one is gone in a fire since long ago now. It was not a sell-out… I should have kept that one. Nah.)
I do see a real future for “poetry”. A future where it lyrically will never again be seen as just equal to the often empty lyrics made for music. Never to be seen upon as personal problems voiced by the angst-ridden in their need. Not as just some simple structures to please the simple minded sing-a-long-people with. Poetry will become a strong weapon against nothingness itself. I will of course be the leader. Where will you be?
(All irony to be found here is very unintentional.)
IN AN AWAITED LUSTFALL
Leaned against this mirkened fence
are we found equally bleached,
beaten by sun, rain and winter cold
The wait was like cracks around ice-holes,
in cold, unreliable and of inadequacy,
for the scum’s loopholes, nonsensical sidetracks,
refused me to blossom anew during withering
It all carried on, kept creating that ― nothing,
when all of this suffering bred forth its pitifulness
So, show me a memory freed from complaint here,
but honourable shall to my eyes can only Knowledge be
I am the quarry of Life’s faults
with my pathfound steps
Loved
Always feared
Hated
Always hailed
SOM ATT TILLVARATA VERKLIGHETEN
Gräver sönder tårmarken
med egna tårar
medan knopparna rejält näpsats i förtider.
Röker ut mig vara en alltför kräsmagad,
en kvardröjd, växt i levandets gränser.
Saknar alltid känslan av rädsla, men aldrig vettet. Snavar rastlöst och samtidigt tröttnad runt i ett verkligt ofattbart tillstånd; normaliteten för de rubbade. Det lilla kvar av värde härnere i denna värld, vilket har försökts önskats, har i stort ödelagts och därefter lövats över.
Så mycket är det värt…
Även mina säkra kort har länge räknats med enda lit och lön lagd i sorgen. Så min otacksamhet till min mottagna kärlekslön är förståelig. Nedslagen under en påtvingat värdelös värld, må vara att den mellantid vi tvingats ner i är en tillfällig parantes, där vi alla vet eller känner att ”något” eller närmast allt är fel; det normala höga, rena och självklara har sänkts med våldtagna ord…
Tanken trampar sitt kött
genom rötade årsringarnas hat
där synvillorna skördar sina kart.
Ger det sista av min ork. Vad som är godhet är utan tvivel. Allt är blod.
Världen är tydlig nog.
WINTER ROSEHIP
HÄMNDENS BREV
Var i ett sinne ― dröjande,
i enkelt nystade orsaker
inhyst ett ohjälpligt tomt rum:
Väntan.
De dragna; korten ligger tvingade och tröstlösa,
sällan riktigt dugliga, kvardröjda ett hårt och tiget
Ditlagda; taggarna fyller Stigen upp till Skyarna
och håller sig glömda för sinnesro och likgiltighet
Hugger in; mina skrik på fångstgroparnas sidor
och klarar labyrinterna genom att aldrig inträda…
Skriver Hem; till Sanningen
om bortglömda och tärande Livsvillkoren:
Ni kräver mig till ensamväxt och hjärtlösheter,
att orkeslöst syna saknadens obotliga orsaker!
Se här den förstående tolkaren av sin längtan
vilken aldrig fruktade känslor kunde dö än mer
erkänna sig stannat med vidöppnade blickar
och sorgligen kan känslor nu inte trubbas ner
i det osköna tynandet framväxt till lidandet
medan verkan ständigt samlar simpla ursäkter.
Men,
vill ändå erbjudas en enda skälig morgondag
vilken härnere vägrar älta sönder redan klarlagt.
Allt är så dumt…
att det endast med ord kan anses vishet vara.
ULTIMATUM
Å! Ni så lättköpta, maktlösa och skändade,
infångade skabbade med olusten fastnade,
tömda på rättigheter; Nödtvunget trasade!
Ni…
Ni! Bortglömda kvar i ett slitet och skämt
Ni! Ögonslött dränkta i ständig kvicksand
Ni spårlöst lämnade vara handfallna,
ni veka och ringa, lyss ett slag!
Länge nog har önskat letats nere hos oönskat
medan inbillningar vittjats tömda på glädjen
där falskt funnet tänkvärt kvälja otänkt tyckt
och ansträngt spillt kraft på ynkliga behoven
Blott misantroper klarar älska vad vår värld blivit
medan fråntagna och krossade löften har mortlats
ty ogräset självt har trängts i törst efter vårt blod,
omkring, och nere, på de smittade källornas plats
Och få vågar önska litet mer än duga till kräk…
Det är mig ändå bitande bittert att bryta
med det sönderslagna samhällets slagna
där lytta och yrande kräva Livet lytt vara
Näppeligen.
ALLODJORD
See
earth fill cloth
.
Hear
ditches in still trickle
.
Hamstringing Fate.
.
Waiting three Sundays.
.
Breaking nested dusk — Cracks
Opening the drum — Cracks
Frozen solid wells — Cracks
Making torched night paths there black-clad birds dances
while moon bites caress inside a Windkissed harvest
.
Lifting,
pressing land and mountains home to Godan blood









