Ever had the feeling that life at the present is a big set up, especially made to work against your will and anything good happening in your life? What if that was correct and not just a feeling? Welcome.

I could tell about my life and the different shades of negativity and darkness, the strangeness and bitterness that life brings here. Nobody outside those who know would believe it, so… Later.

I think daily about a multitude of things that I should do. I have to start making some goals here in this worthless life that surrounds me, right now.  Or later. 



I have been around the block a few times. Travelling is what you do when you have no life and wish to imagine that you are doing something with your life. I guess it is all pretty much the same everywhere in this mono-cultural world, that of course call itself multi-cultural… This upside-down-world breeds the most dumb animals, and if you think that “things just happen”, then you are one of these victims. I pity you. Let me define what culture is. Later.

I hate to travel. Carrying around stuff you need. The strain of being forced into meeting people you would prefer to see dead. The waiting for planes or buses and the smelly rides. Travelling is like eating a huge cake that taste like crap and it is full of fat that you have to work the rest of your life to get rid of. Was the sunset in that vacation spot worth it? 



To have everything and not being able or permitted to use it. Can anyone else imagine that frustration? Ah well, beauty is all our eyes need to survive another day. I tried this for a longer period: Avoiding everything that was not strikingly beautiful. Almond trees in bloom and a stunning landscape helped me with that. Not a good idea. Still, I have done a few things that I knew was less than good ideas; like trying to live like a homeless for a period some seven years ago. The list is small for these private tests on life and reality, and it does not feed my need for knowledge and insight enough. The wages are not enough. Everyone would hate me if I did not try to be more human, so there you go. Love me tender.



Things have been so slow the last two years. To think about being creative and producing is a start, but when it halts there…

I love this world, but this present illusion is not this world. I LIVE ABOVE THE ILLUSION. That is why you hate me. Love me. Later.




  1. Well first off sorry but this post made me laugh. Secondly, I get you. I just had a self-sympathy session (aka bawling to my teddy bear) that I don’t understand the point of my existence. Really, I get why people have children. Puts away those pesky, existential questions.

    • Well, how mature and insightful of you. Do I fish around for sympathy? Would I care for any? I guess your brainwash makes anything other than self-experience unavailable. No, you cannot get me. Most certainly you are clueless to what I am referring to in most parts. My bad.
      The final piss you made with that “people have children” to take away “pesky, existential questions.” is insulting to humanity. So, you are born of parents that just wished for your existence to fulfill their basic and filthy needs? Sorry, I belong to humanity. I find your being to be completely retarded. I guesss it runs very deep down in you. I pity your teddy bear. Which, with that said, is not yours.

      • I think my response does sound retarded, and I sincerely apologize for that. What I meant to say: I have been extremely depressed and I think I know what you’re going though, and your sarcasm made me laugh (although now I see it wasn’t sarcasm at all). I wrote a post just yesterday about how lonely I am. I regret not having children. I cried yesterday and asked what the point of my life is, as I don’t know most days lately.

        I don’t expect you to understand given your reaction. Although I didn’t mean it the way it came off (at all), I will go away anyway.

        I am really so sorry. 😦

      • Exactly. I have a problem with my understanding. I look too deep down. All irony and sarcasm to be found is clear to see and intended. So, you seem to have misunderstood. Again. Later.

      • Well I guess my infantile being cannot possibly behold your realisations around the fake-ness of society. I will try harder. At the end of the day you made me laugh…at myself (before you get your knickers in a twist over my continued misunderstanding). I thank you for that!

        P.s. I have read a lot of David Icke. Do I get any brownie points here?

    • Living in the illusion is never good in any way. It might seem comfortable to jump around with the sheep and the insects while they believe they rule. Sadly, punishment and death awaits for these victims.

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